Dear Empowered Reader,

Holidays can be a time of joy and connection, and we can't forget: the delicious food!

But sometimes it can feel stressful and overwhelming. Between juggling endless to-do lists, coordinating events, cooking huge meals, and choosing the perfect gifts, it’s easy to feel like all the preparation falls on your shoulders. And let’s be honest, how often have you said “yes” to guests or plans when you were already tired?

We want everything to be perfect and comfortable for everyone. But where do you fall into the picture?

This year, I invite you to do something radical: allow yourself to prioritize you. Imagine asking yourself, “How can I show up for myself this holiday season?” What if the best gift you gave was the gift of peace, rest, and joy—to yourself?

My Experience with Carrying the Holiday Load

Women are often expected to be the heart of holiday celebrations—the ones who make everything “magical.” Whether it’s hosting family dinners, decorating, shopping for gifts, or saying yes to invitations when all you want is rest, it’s easy to get caught in the whirlwind of doing for others.

For years, I embodied this. My family hosts a Christmas brunch tradition that I was solely responsible for coordinating, decorating, and hosting. Meanwhile, my husband enjoyed the event as the host but didn’t participate in the preparation. It wasn’t because he refused to help—it was because I never asked for what I needed. I had fallen into the habit of doing it all alone, thinking it was “normal” because that’s what I had seen my mother do for years. My mother is the ultimate host who prepares, cooks, cleans, and entertains our entire family while refusing most help.

I often tell other women that just because we can, doesn't mean we should. However, I wasn't taking my advice. So last December, that was my gift to myself!

I realized I couldn’t keep running a business, taking care of the household, and preparing for the brunch without help. It wasn’t sustainable and I was burning out. I didn't have any "me" time. Now, my husband plays a larger role in the parts of holiday planning he loves, like hosting, and I focus on delegating, asking for help, and letting go of perfectionism.

Especially for women of color, cultural and familial expectations often emphasize strength and selflessness. You may be seen as the one who holds everything together, the one who ensures traditions are honored, and the one who is always available to help. While this resilience is a testament to your strength, it can also lead to burnout if you don’t set boundaries.

Let’s dismantle the belief that our value lies in how much we give to others during the holidays. Your joy, rest, and peace are just as important.

3 Ways to Find "Me" Time During Holiday Season

1. Schedule Time for Yourself First

   Before planning holiday activities, block out time for personal care. Treat it like a non-negotiable meeting with yourself. Whether it’s 30 minutes for a relaxing bath, reading a book, or simply sitting with a cup of tea in silence, prioritizing these moments can anchor you in the chaos.

   
   

   For me, one of the most transformative things I’ve done is attend a women’s retreat for a week during the holiday season. This time is solely focused on receiving love, joy, peace, harmony, and connection—everything that helps refill my cup. While a retreat may not be possible for everyone, you can find smaller ways to say yes to yourself like the tasks I mentioned previously.

   
   

2. Embrace Small Acts of Self-Care

   Self-care doesn’t have to mean hours at the spa or a full week away. Sometimes it’s as simple as checking in with yourself mentally to see if you have the capacity to pour into others. Do you have the energy to answer the phone call or attend the event? If not, allow yourself to say no.

   
   

   One of my favorite acts of self-care is to decline an invitation when I’m already tired and stay home instead. Resting and recharging in my own space allows me to show up more fully when it matters most.

   
   

3. Communicate Your Needs Clearly

   Let loved ones know early what you’re able to commit to—and what you’re not. For example:

   ○ “I’d love to host dinner, but I’ll need help with prepping or cleanup.”

   ○ “This year, I’ll join you for the dinner, but I need to skip the late-night festivities to recharge.”

   Setting boundaries is not selfish; it’s essential for your well-being.

   
   

The Gift of Prioritizing You

This holiday season, remember that you deserve to feel peace and joy too. Whether it’s a week away, five minutes of stillness, or saying no when you need rest, give yourself the gift of slowing down, showing up for yourself, and finding balance in the midst of it all. You’re worth it.

Thank you for taking the time to read and reflect with me. I hope your holiday season is filled with peace rather than countless tasks to complete.

With care❤️

Jennifer Nicole

P.S. Let this letter serve as a reminder for you whenever you feel like you are swamped with things to do. You deserve to have "me" time to do rejoice, relax, and reflect.

Let's Stay Connected

If this post resonated with you, I’d love for you to stay connected!

Visit my websites, Perfectly Imperfect and EmpowerHer Society, for more insights, resources, and updates on how we can navigate this journey together.

Let’s stay in touch on social media, too! Follow me on Instagram at @empowerhersociety and @sheisjennifernicole, or connect with me on LinkedIn at Jennifer Nicole Brown.

Resources for Your Journey

*Disclaimer: The resources mentioned in this post are shared because I believe they could be helpful and have personally found them of interest. I am affiliated with Perfectly Imperfect Counseling Services as the founder and a therapist and EmpowerHer Society as its creator and facilitator, and I share it as part of my mission to support women of color in their journey toward self-love, empowerment, and balance. For all other resources, I am not affiliated and do not receive compensation for sharing them. These resources are provided solely for informational purposes to support your personal growth and well-being. I encourage you to explore them and determine if they align with your needs.