Always Thinking, Always Doing: Breaking the Overthinking & Over-functioning Cycle pt. 2
- Jennifer Brown
- Feb 27
- 6 min read
Updated: 4 days ago
Dear Empowered Reader,
Quick Reminder: If you haven't already, read pt. 1 first where I break down what overthinking and over-functioning is and the role they've played in my life.
The Hidden Cost: When Strength Becomes a Burden
Chronic headaches, digestive issues, muscle tension, fatigue, and even hair loss. The constant need to "prove" yourself or ensure everyone else's comfort can leave you feeling depleted and disconnected from yourself.
Overthinking and Over-functioning don’t just drain your energy—they show up in your body, too. The constant state of doing, fixing, and anticipating others’ needs can keep your nervous system in overdrive, leading to chronic stress responses. This might look like tension headaches, digestive issues, persistent fatigue, muscle tightness, skin conditions flaring up, urinary concerns, decreased sex drive, hair loss, and hormonal imbalances which can all be signs that your body is carrying the weight of too much.
You may notice your body whispering its exhaustion through random aches, trouble sleeping, forgetfulness, irritability, or even difficulty sitting still—yet if you're anything like how I was, instead of slowing down, you push through, because that’s what you’ve always done. Over time, ignoring these signals can lead to burnout, anxiety, and more severe health issues. Your body is not betraying you; it’s trying to protect you. The question is—are you listening? Now it's time to BREAK FREE!
Breaking Free from Survival Mode
Recognizing these patterns is the first step toward healing, but shifting away from survival mode requires self-awareness, curiosity, and compassion. Instead of forcing yourself to “just stop overthinking” or “do less,” try exploring these patterns with understanding. Here’s how you can start:
1️⃣ Notice When It’s Happening
Pay attention to when you start overthinking or taking on too much. Does it happen at work? With family? In friendships? Do certain situations make you feel like you need to prove yourself? Noticing the pattern is the first step toward change.
2️⃣ Check In With Your Body
How does stress or pressure feel physically? Are your teeth clinched? Are your shoulders tight? Does your stomach feel unsettled? Maybe you struggle to sit still or feel exhausted even after resting. Your body often speaks before your mind catches up, so listen to what it’s telling you.
3️⃣ Ask Yourself What’s Driving It
Instead of judging yourself, get curious. Are you overthinking because you’re afraid of making a mistake? Do you take on too much because saying “no” feels uncomfortable? Do you feel like there is no one else to do it? It’s only your responsibility? Or you should be able to handle it alone? Understanding what’s beneath these habits can help you start showing up differently.
4️⃣ Acknowledge How This Has Helped You
There’s a reason you show up this way—it helped you navigate life at some point. Maybe overthinking kept you from getting in trouble. Maybe over-functioning made you avoid being seen as lazy, feel useful, needed, or in control. Instead of criticizing yourself, appreciate the part of you that was just trying to help.
5️⃣ Ask Yourself: What Do I Need Instead?
What would feel better in this moment? Do you need permission to rest? Reassurance that you don’t have to have all the answers? A reminder that you are worthy beyond what you do for others? Shifting out of survival mode means giving yourself what you truly need, not just what feels familiar.
6️⃣ Challenge the Fear of Letting Go
What feels scary about doing less or thinking less? Do you worry people will be disappointed? That things will fall apart? That you won’t be needed? These fears are valid, but they don’t have to control you. The truth is—you are enough, even when you’re not overworking, overthinking, or over-caring.
Overthinking and over-functioning are often unseen struggles, yet they deeply impact our mental, emotional, and physical health, but they don’t have to define you. If you recognize yourself in these patterns, know this: You are not alone, and you do not have to carry it all. Healing begins when you recognize that survival is no longer the only option.
Many of us have responsibilities we can’t simply walk away from—jobs, caregiving, relationships, and obligations that require our time and energy. The goal isn’t to eliminate everything on your plate but to find a balance that doesn’t require you to over-function to keep up. There is an in-between, a space where you can honor your commitments without sacrificing yourself in the process. This looks like making intentional choices, setting small but firm boundaries, and recognizing when ‘pushing through’ is costing you more than it’s worth. Balance isn’t about doing less—it’s about doing what matters in a way that feels sustainable, not draining.
With love and care ❤️
Jennifer Nicole
P.S. This letter is your reminder to love yourself every single day. When you love you, everyone will begin to feel it too.
📌 If this resonates with you, therapy or other supportive spaces can be powerful tools to explore and shift these patterns. Let’s talk about it.
Resources for Women Breaking Free from Overthinking & Over-Functioning
If you’ve recognized yourself in these patterns, know that you are not alone. Here are some resources that can support your journey toward balance, self-awareness, and healing.
📚 Books to Help You Reclaim Your Time & Energy
Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself – Nedra Glover Tawwab
Learn how to set healthy boundaries and recognize when you’re over-functioning.
Rest Is Resistance: A Manifesto – Tricia Hersey (The Nap Ministry)
My Grandmother’s Hands – Resmaa Menakem
🎧 Podcasts for Encouragement & Healing
Therapy for Black Girls – Hosted by Dr. Joy Harden Bradford
Covers mental health topics relevant to Black women, including stress and boundaries.
Black Girl Burnout – Hosted by Kelley Bonner
The Nap Ministry Podcast – Tricia Hersey
Balanced Black Girl – Hosted by Lestraundra Alfred
🧠 Therapy & Mental Health Support
Provides financial assistance for therapy sessions for Black women and girls.
🌿 Rest & Nervous System Regulation
Encourages Black women to reject grind culture and embrace rest.
💜 Join EmpowerHer Society
If you’re looking for a space to prioritize yourself, embrace balance, and step out of survival mode, EmpowerHer Society is here for you. Join our mailing list to stay connected and receive resources, support, and event updates.
📌 Sign up here: www.empowerhersociety.co
Thank you for taking the time to read and reflect with me. If this post resonated with you, I’d love for you to stay connected! Visit my websites, Perfectly Imperfect and EmpowerHer Society, for more insights, resources, and updates on how we can navigate this journey together.
Let’s stay in touch on social media, too! Follow me on Instagram at @theempowerhersociety and @sheisjennifernicole, or connect with me on LinkedIn at Jennifer Nicole Brown.
Disclaimer: The resources mentioned in this post are shared because I believe they could be helpful and have personally found them of interest. I am affiliated with Perfectly Imperfect Counseling Services as the founder and a therapist and EmpowerHer Society as its creator and facilitator, and I share it as part of my mission to support women of color in their journey toward self-love, empowerment, and balance. For all other resources, I am not affiliated and do not receive compensation for sharing them. These resources are provided solely for informational purposes to support your personal growth and well-being. I encourage you to explore them and determine if they align with your needs.
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